school project . i should have handed it in yesterday . yesterday was the date due . actually , i have completed it by last week . last week , i wanted to handed it in . but there was no time . i was busy with work , and was with my boyfriend all the time . problems that i m having at home , make me scared to stay up late all night , to study for my exam , which i be having tomorrow . i was totally hurt with what boyfriend did , so while i was checking on my project , for like the last time , i m not sure what button that i pressed , till everything was like gone . i try to calm myself down . trying to forget what i just did , and trying to forget how boyfriend have been hurting me , for the last few days . than boyfriend called , and say , that he have shortage . and he asked me , if i have money . obviously , i don t . the last money that i had , we spend it on your volcom cap , remember . no regrets buying you that . and the stupid fines that we had . but totally hurt , when you blame your shortages that you had , on me . hello . i m no longer even working as the same place as you . i m not even there , to hold on to your money , or whatever shit lah . it s lame of you , to blame it on me . because i love you , i attempt to called epy , and asked for his help . he was totally lazy on going down and transferring you the money . i pleaded him , alright .

you totally know how school is important to me . and how i take it seriously . you even know i had exams tomorrow . yet yesterday , you choose to go to your house , just to watch tv , though , i strongly told you i doesn t want and i disagree . what . my house , got no tv is it . as days goes by , you are being totally selfish . and i hate how you have been acting . since you like to be like that so much , from now onwards , i m not going to care about you . if you want to say so much , that i m too engrossed with work and school , go ahead . i fucking don t care now . since you don t care about my feelings , why should i care about yours . just go to hell , for all i care .

if i got money with me , to buy myself what i wanted to eat , i don t mind . but i don t have . of course , i m very angry , that you eat my share . i didn t get to eat yesterday , because of you . you have money what , buy yourself what you want to eat lah . i thought of having a nice full breakfast , and than i could concentrate with my project and getting ready for my exam tomorrow . but , hell no . you are the only one who is hungry lah , i m not . chibai . now i m so fucking hungry , that i couldn t concentrate at all .

i am so going to fail . what . you want to pay 1600 bucks for me , so i could retake this two module , so i could get my cert with flying colours . or you want to pay 20 000 , if i failed everything .

it s already bad enough , you doesn t want to go anywhere that i wanted . everything have to follow your choice . it s already bad enough too , that you wouldn t with me , during my tough times . it s already bad enough also , that you were happily jolly with other girls , when i m sick . you say , you wanted to make it up to me , and prove to me , that it s not going to happened again , and that you love me . but hell no , talk only , action zero . but you are making me more and more stressful , with your attitude . every wrongdoings that you made , i get upset and totally hurt , but you doesn t care . because everytime i got upset , you didn t come to me , to make everything alright . i was the one , who have to go to you , to say , it s alright , i m not angry . you just do whatever you want , as long you are happy .

add on , to the stress too , that i m having at home , at work , with the moron guys too .

another lame thing you told me . that makes you to be a selfish person . was when you say , that , the moron guys , can t see how nice you are with me , coz later , they will be more nicer to me , to get my attention , and than you will get more upset and jealous . what sey . you should save me from this distressed that i m having , not ignore everything , and think about your feelings only .

argh ! ! ! ! . i m so stressed and unhappy , that my pimples and acne , are coming back ! .

@ 11:37 AM